Thimblism

When I was a kid we use to play a game called Hide the Thimble. In case you can’t figure it out on your own — someone would hide a thimble (or some other small object) and we’d try to find it. The person who would hide the thimble would say “You’re getting warmer” as we headed in the right direction or “You’re getting colder” when we went the wrong way or “You’re hot” when you were so close. Well I feel like Mother Nature is playing Hide The Thimble with Minnesota.

One day we are getting “colder, no colder, oh you’re freezing” and the next day we are “getting hotter, really hotter, oh you’re burning up.” The only problem, other than shear annoyance, is I have no idea what we are suppose to be looking for. Let’s see Monday and Tuesday we are in a heat index, Wednesday we have a perfect day, and well today you need a jacket. Would someone please find the *^# thimble so we can move on to another game like — It’s Summer.

A New Summer Purse and A Lack of Enthusiasm

I finally found my new summer purse. It’s so much fun when you turn the corner at the store and know immediately this is what you want. I keep waiting for that to happen with men but so far not working too well. I think I must be hanging out at the wrong corner — the intersection of He’s Gay and Already Taken.

Hope you had a good Memorial weekend. Each year I watch the PBS Memorial Concert and have a good cry. I never cease to be amazed and humbled by men and women who have served our country in the armed forces knowing that they are putting their life on the line.

I discovered that besides going to cemetaries, everyone seems to go to Target on Memorial Day. I decided to return something because I was going to be in that area anyways and I found a parking lot crowded with people looking for that good parking spot. I know on Labor Day Target is full of parents and kids getting supplies for the first day of school, but I have no idea what people are getting on Memorial Day — I suppose supplies for summer?

This morning I realized something important — I can gauge my mood by how many times I push my snooze button. This morning it was four times — not a good sign. I can also tell how I’m feeling by how long I just stand in the shower not doing anything but standing there, or how long I just sit on the commode (my grandma said you should never say toilet in public) listening to my shower running. I won’t tell you how long that was but let’s say I’m facing another day with the same enthusiasm one may feel for a colonoscopy, a four hour flight in the middle seat of coach, or the coming elections.

Well me and my new summer purse are off to face the world AGAIN. Are you ready for us?

Oy, Such A Beautiful Morning

Well I didn’t wake up beautiful this morning because I have yet to fall asleep. Yes, I’ve been awake all night. I tossed and turned thinking about projects at work and then I got a brilliant idea and I tossed and turned thinking about how to execute it. After that I tossed and turned thinking about all the personal projects I have.

I can tell fall is here. I’m sorry to those of you who adore summer, but I’m always glad when summer is over. I loved summer as a kid, but once I started working — it just wasn’t the same. When I was in high school I use to stay up until 1 or 2 in the morning working in one of my many journals and then sleep until noon, get up and go hangout with my friends. What a life.
As much as I am dreading trying to get through part of the day on no sleep, I’m excited because this means my creative juices are starting to flow again. In summer I just can’t seem to get pumped up about anything but for some reason fall just gets me going. I guess it goes back to the fact that everything seems to stop in the summer (except work) and come fall it’s almost like another “new year’s day.” The slate is clean and we start all over again.
So at 4:15 I finally just got up. There is really no point in sleeping for 2 or 3 hours, in fact that will only make it worse. I figure I’ll go into work early … around 6 … and then I can go home early … around 2. Luckily I don’t operate any heavy machinery — or do I? I’m so tired I can’t remember. I guess I’ll put on a hard hat just in case.
Wish me luck staying awake. I’ll need it. And if you think this is going to make my day confusing, poor Freckles has no idea what the heck is going on.

Happy Monday????

Now that the Minnesota State Fair is almost here the cliche you’ll hear most often is “I can’t believe summer is almost over” and it will be accompanied by a rather sad face. I’ve learned not to reply with what’s in my heart but rather to nod and smile and say “It sure goes fast.” What I want to say is “Thank God it’s almost over.”

I really don’t care much for summer. At least not as an adult. When you’re a kid it’s great because you don’t have school and you get to pretty much goof off for three months. My favorite part of summer was the four weeks I’d spend at camp. I went to Lyman Lodge out on Lake Minnetonka. It’s not there anymore — the YWCA sold it and now there are mini-mansions where there use to be cabins. I know those four weeks at camp were also my mom’s favorite four weeks of the summer. It meant four weeks without being afraid every time the phone rang it would be a neighbor saying “Do you know what Mary is up to now?” I think the worse call she got along those lines were when my friend Debbie and I found my dad’s stash of condoms in his nightstand and at first we thought it was candy but when we opened one up we realized, of course, it was a balloon. So we blew them up, tied a string around them, and I walked around the block yelling “Balloons for sale; balloons for sale.” You can only imagine the joy my mother felt as a parent to pick up the phone and hear “Do you know that Mary is walking around the neighborhood with rubbers on a string?”
No wonder they invented birth control pills.

Remember When You Were Cold

I brought back this picture to remind me (and you) of those cold days of winter when we were praying for this weather because I find myself complaining about the heat and humidity and I forget when I was freezing.

I think every once in a while we should put our feet in a bucket of ice just to remind us what it could be like. Then, I guess, in winter we should set ourselves on fire — although that seems a bit severe — to remind us of how hot we were.
So tonight I have company coming — my friend Lori’s son and his family (wife and two sons 3 and 4 months). It should be an interesting weekend. I forget how much energy 3 year olds have. We should forget wind or solar power, we should hook children up to some machine and make them run around. That would provide electricity to millions. So wish me luck for the weekend. I’ll keep you posted.

It’s Off; It’s On; Nope It’s Off

The electricity last night. I was rinsing off some dishes when the electricity went off, then it tried like the dickens to come back on, then it went off — for about 4 hours.

Luckily it was around 9:00 so it had cooled down quite a bit. This time I knew where my flashlight was, and my radio. I rinsed dishes in the semi-dark, did a few other things, and then took Freckles out for her evening toilette. It was pouring rain so both of us were soaking wet. She looked at me with that “What the f*ck” look. It was hot and now it was hot and damp. I took a cold shower — this is as close to being a horny teenage boy as I will ever get. And that’s good because I never planned on being a horny teenage boy. I planned on being an actress, a writer, a nurse, a stewardess, a teacher, a mother, a dancer, a Miss America, a cheerleader, and of course, a great detective but never a horny teenage boy. But I digress as usual.
Well back to Sunday and all it’s glory.