Top 10 Office Lies

talking bookI started working in an office in March of 1973 — yes 1973. We were still in Vietnam, Nixon was president, and I was listening to Stevie Wonder’s album “Talking Book” (which had the title in braille on the ALBUM cover) over and over again.

In that time I’ve learned a lot about people who make their living in the corporate world and even more about the corporate culture. One thing I discovered is that if you want to survive you better know how to at least tell little fibs if not outright lie from time to time. Here are the top 10 lies that anyone who hangs around an office long enough will either hear or tell.

  1. My aunt (uncle, cousin, mother-in-law) died. Death is a good excuse to not be at work – especially if it is your own. But if you are going for the funeral lie it is better to go with your best friend’s mom/dad/spouse. Why? Because if you are smart you will find someone in the obits that you can pawn off as the deceased.  Also you aren’t close enough to the deceased to feel the need to talk about them or look too sad.  And, if you are taking a half day off be sure to dress in appropriate funeral clothing. Continue reading