Mary F*in’ Poppins?

I love the movie Mary Poppins. When I was a kid I had the piano music and could play all the songs. “Feed the Birds” always made me sad — still does. So I am looking forward to the movie Mary Poppins Returns. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Lin Manuel Miranda is going to play Bert!

So the other day I was at the theater seeing “A Wrinkle in Time” and saw a trailer for the movie:

At the end of the trailer was this:

Well isn’t that just Supercalifrickinlisticexpialidocious?  “This film has not yet been rated?!?!?!?!?!” Is there any chance it would be anything other than “G”? But it got me thinking — what could be in the film that would give it an “R” rating:

  • “Chimney Sweeps” is now an all male dance show in Vegas. You wouldn’t believe what they use to clean your chimney.
  • Michael Banks’ spoonful of sugar has become a spoonful of coke and he’s in the First Fidelity rehab facility.
  • Jane Banks is living in a double-wide with her five kids from five different baby daddies. She works at a local tobacco store — Sister Cigarette.
  •  Uncle Albert is selling nitrous oxide at his “On The Ceiling Coffee Bar” so everyone can love to laugh.
  • Mary Poppins traded sliding up and down the banister to a sliding up and down a dance pole at the local watering hole.
  • Bert no longer “steps in time” but is “doin’ time” for selling pot brownies at his Jolly Holiday Cafe.

Yep, I guess there is a chance this could turn “R” — I mean it is starring Emily “Blunt” isn’t it. Everybody jump into the chalk drawing!!!!!

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