Dingleberry Alert

There are a lot of commercials that make me crazy but the Charmin bears are up at the top of the list. Last night this stupid commercial came on where the mama bear (notice it’s always the mama bear – apparently papa is off somewhere looking for pic-a-nic baskets) is busy chastising her child for having pieces of Charmin left on his butt.

Now, first off let’s just admit we are very proud of a bear with no opposable thumbs being able to get paper off those rolls much less just being willing to use TP. You’d think his mother could be proud of him but nooooooooooooooooooo she has to stomp on his self-esteem because there are “pieces” leftover.

Second, what mother or father checks their child’s butt for cling-ons? I just couldn’t believe it so I called my friend who has 3 kids under the age of 10 and asked her “Do you check your kids butts for leftover pieces of toilet paper?” Perhaps I should have said “hello” and “how are you” before I blurted out this question but I didn’t want to forget the reason why I called. Well she told me emphatically that she did NOT check such things — she also told me that her sister-in-law chews a stick but that’s another story.

Now while this is probably the stupidest commercial on TV (okay the stupidest one is the Arby’s commercial where the guy licks another guy’s face without the other guy killing him) but it does answer one very important question humanity has been asking for a long time: the Pope is Catholic and bears do shit in the woods – but they don’t clean up too well.