Doctor, doctor give me the news …

I’m heading off to the doctor this morning. I can’t get to sleep at night lately. I am tired, I go to bed, and I lay there for hours and hours thinking. If I get up I’m so tired and want to lie down but when I lay down I can’t get to sleep. Sometimes I wake up about an hour later. It’s horrible. Once I get to sleep I usually sleep through the night but … well you get the picture.

I’m hoping there is something that will let me fall asleep faster — quiet the voices — and let me tell you I have a lot of voices to listen to when I try to get to sleep. There’s the banker’s voice telling me I have to move out, there’s the work voice telling me I forgot to do something or better be sure I do something, there’s my mom’s voice asking me why do I wear that to bed — what if there’s a fire (apparently if you aren’t wearing something more respectable than a t-shirt and shorts the fire department won’t rescue you from a burning building), there’s me wondering how I’m ever going to pack all of this up to move, and of course there is that sad little voice that is missing my sleeping buddy. The weirdest voice of course is Richard Nixon asking me why I hate him so. With all those voices it’s hard to hear Keifer telling me how irresistible I am.

I hate taking drugs (I can hear a voice of me from the 70s saying “yeah right, you hate taking drugs) but I’m so tired and nothing “natural” is working so I guess I’ll have to hope pharmaceuticals will come shining through. I just hope whatever I get doesn’t make me contemplate my hands or give me the munchies so I walk around with Cheetos dust all over my face. That would be far out man.

1 thought on “Doctor, doctor give me the news …

  1. You forgot the most important voice…the voice of Dwight. Dwight's advice on falling asleep: You know, it's not really necessary for me to sit here holding her all night. Just go to the refrigerator, get a lump of suet-of any kind of congealed animal fat will do, really. Tie a piece of string to it, tie the other end to your toe, pop the suet in your mouth. You'll be happy for hours.

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