For The Extremely Lonely

boyfriend The Boyfriend Pillow

I found this in one of the many catalogs I receive. I had to wonder 1) who invented this; 2) who would buy this; and 3) does it come in different styles. For instance could you get one with a suit and tie (or a half a suit and half a tie) for those times when you just want to snuggle with a corporate giant. Or maybe one with a plaid shirt for a cuddle with those lumberjack outdoorsy guys. Or perhaps a guy in a t-shirt that says “No Fat Chicks” when you want to snuggle with a loser. And perhaps in a variety of skin tones in case you aren’t turned on by this pasty white dude.

I went online (my favorite place after Ben & Jerry’s) and found a patent for the “boyfriend pillow.” It originated in China and states:

With the concept of people working and living the concept of change, accelerated pace of life, in a tight spare time, sleeping, relaxing, not only requires the body needs to be relaxed, but also need to get some psychological comfort, especially modern city single women, especially. The headrest on the market today can not meet this requirement.

So, as the catalog said, snuggle up and get cozy with a pillow that likes to cuddle and has a motion device that makes the pillow soothingly vibrate (batteries not included).”

I understand it is so real that if you start to tell it how your feeling it immediately turns off.

Oh and don’t worry guys — you aren’t being forgotten. There’s the girlfriend pillow. I just don’t know why she is wearing a dishwashing glove. Oh, wait, I do understand.

girlfriend pillow