I Can’t Believe You Said That

Well now my sight is joining my hearing on a different level of reality.  Ever since I had brain surgery in 2001 (see the icky picture below) I’ve had a slight hearing loss in my left ear.  You would think it would be annoying when in fact it makes life much more interesting.  You wouldn’t believe some of the things I’ve heard people say — or at least what I thought they said.

A couple of years ago a guy from our IT department was working on my computer.  While waiting for some program to load or unload or do some sort of thing he turned to me and asked “How do you like your printer?”  They had installed a printer/scanner at my desk a few weeks prior.  Unfortunately I thought he asked “How do you like your period?” Well, once I got over the oddity of the question I replied, as a post-menopausal woman would, “I don’t have one anymore.”  Now the printer was right in front of him, so he said “Sure you do,” and I replied “I think I would know if I did, and no I don’t.”  He then pointed to the printer and said “It’s right there.”  Well, I realized my hearing had led me down another ridiculous path.

So yesterday I’m walking past the coffee table in the reception room and saw the headline “House Agrees On Bowling Ball.”  I backed up to take another look and saw “House Agrees On Bailout Bond” or something like that.  You can understand my confusion, considering how politics are going today it’s possible the only thing they can agree on is a bowling ball, and then they would probably spend many days discussing 3-hole vs. 2-hole.  Of course, as far as I’m concerned, I would give most of them 1 hole and you can imagine which finger that would be for.