I feel like I’m on a see saw. I want a dog; I don’t want a dog. I want a dog; I don’t want a dog. I want a dog; oh look a shiny object. As always — easily distracted.
This is Cuddles. I have been emailing with her foster mom and may go and meet her this weekend. She is 8 years old and tiny — only 17 pounds. She has always lived in a puppy mill and never had a home to call her own.
I do miss coming home to someone happy to see me. And I have been quite isolated in my home. I could go all day without ever going outside or seeing people. When you have a dog, especially in this neighborhood, you have a community of instant friends. Lots of people have no idea what my name is but knew me as “Freckles’ mom.”
Dogs are a lot of work, but the joy always outweighed the work. But I keep wondering if I’m going too fast. Am I just trying to replace Freckles? That wouldn’t be fair. And I wonder if I need to give myself more time. I still cry when I think of her and hug her blanket at night. It sounds weird, which isn’t that surprising coming from me, but I feel like I’m cheating on Freckles.
Like I said … I’m on a see saw.