I’m Getting Dizzy

I feel like I’m on a see saw. I want a dog; I don’t want a dog. I want a dog; I don’t want a dog. I want a dog; oh look a shiny object. As always — easily distracted.

This is Cuddles. I have been emailing with her foster mom and may go and meet her this weekend. She is 8 years old and tiny — only 17 pounds. She has always lived in a puppy mill and never had a home to call her own.

I do miss coming home to someone happy to see me. And I have been quite isolated in my home. I could go all day without ever going outside or seeing people. When you have a dog, especially in this neighborhood, you have a community of instant friends. Lots of people have no idea what my name is but knew me as “Freckles’ mom.”

Dogs are a lot of work, but the joy always outweighed the work. But I keep wondering if I’m going too fast. Am I just trying to replace Freckles? That wouldn’t be fair. And I wonder if I need to give myself more time. I still cry when I think of her and hug her blanket at night. It sounds weird, which isn’t that surprising coming from me, but I feel like I’m cheating on Freckles.

Like I said … I’m on a see saw.

3 thoughts on “I’m Getting Dizzy

  1. You aren't replacing Freckles, you are adding an additional person in your life to love. Because of Freckles I added an additional person in my household — Porter. Not only has my life been enhanced, but Eddie's has, too. Now I have two dogs to be thrilled to see me and spend time with me! I love it! (I use 'people' and 'dogs' interchangeably.)

    Thank you, Freckles!!

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