Knock Knock

On Sunday I went to a birthday party for my cousin’s granddaughter Brooke — it was her first birthday. She lives in Florida so it was fun to see her in person — I’ve been watching her grow on the internet. I got her the best gift a one year old living in Florida could get – Twins, Gopher, and Vikings t-shirts. She will now be properly dressed.

My cousin lives in Eden Prairie. If I ever have to enter the witness protection program I’m going to go live with my cousin because no one will ever find me, even if they have the address. Yikes, that is a city filled with courts, blvds, roads, circles, avenues and they all have one name Prairie Court, Prairie Blvd, Prairie Road, etc. It is very confusing. I tell you this to try to minimize what I am about to tell you now.

I’ve been to my cousin’s house a few times. It sits on top of a hill and the backyard is woods and a creek — Purgatory Creek — really. I get to the house, on time, and there are cars in the driveway so I know I’m not first but there’s a spot for me right at the bottom of the driveway – in the shade – so I nab it. I get my gift and walk up the driveway and am greeted by a dog. I don’t remember Kathy having a dog, but my memory isn’t what it use to be. The front door is open but I knock on the screen door to be polite. I can hear music out back so I figure that’s where everyone is because it is such a nice day. I knock again and say “Hello, Hello” and when no one comes to the door I just let myself in. “Hello, Hello” I say again as I head to the kitchen. Then I look and see a picture of the family on the wall — a family I don’t know and I see a kitchen that doesn’t look familiar and I realize — I’M IN THE WRONG HOUSE.

Just as I try to sneak out, before the police arrive, a woman comes into the kitchen. I said “I’m so sorry but I’m in the wrong house.” I tell her who I’m looking for and she tells me they live one culdasac to the right. OMG. I kept apologizing. She tells me they get my cousin’s mail all the time — the house numbers are only 1 digit off — but she didn’t tell me strangers come wandering into her house.

I continue to apologize as I leave and move as quickly as my body will let me to my car. I remember an episode of “Monk” where he is in the wrong house and they end up putting him into a sanitarium. And once again I realize that I should not be let allowed to mingle with the general population.

Have a good day and try not to commit a felony by breaking and entering.