Yesterday was a bad day … but it was a good day in a way too. During the night I listened to Freckles wheezing and saw what seemed like sadness on her face and I decided it was time to let her go. I called the vet and brought Freckles in for what I thought was the last time. But thanks to a wonderful talk with the vet (Dr. Hershey of Westgate Clinic) I learned so much about what these final days can be. Dr. Hershey got down on the floor with me and Freckles and was even crying too. She could tell that I wasn’t ready to say good-bye and that Freckles wasn’t ready either. She told me that I needed to listen to Freckles rather than try to figure things out for myself. That when Freckles refused to eat, when she didn’t want to be with me or at least try to roll in the park (now she lays down but gets stuck half way through her role and lays there with her legs in the air — I’m sure people driving by think that she is dead and I’m standing there with a dead dog on a leash) as long as she still does the things that she likes that she is okay. She may not be feeling great but she is okay. It’s not until she stops eating and wants to be alone that the time has come to say good-bye.
I was thinking there is an old AA saying “Let Go and Let God” well God backwards is Dog so I am going to “Let Go and Let Dog” — of course using that logic it would be “Let Og and Let Dog” which makes no sense at all but let’s face it, in my life the “making sense” trolly left a long, long, long time ago.
So I’m about to take Miss Freckles out for her morning walk and enjoy every moment I can with her. I will trust her to tell me when she’s ready to go. Next week I’m on vacation so she and I can spend a lot of time together. I’m just trying to figure out how I can get her into Target Field for the opening day of baseball.