Once Upon A Time (and a dozen or so vodka gimlets ago)

Have you ever just stared at a blank piece of paper, or in this case a blank entry space, and thought I have nothing to write about. Let’s see you know I’m going to opening day tomorrow; you know I hate the yankees; you know I can’t find my iPod; you know I once dated The Who — oh wait, forget I said that. Have ever heard about the one where I got arrested – but then the charges were dropped?

Once upon a time, many, many, many years ago – in my drinking days – I had gone out with my friends to the Cabooze (I think). We were having a rowdy good time. In the bar was a group of women having a party for their friend who was getting married soon. Well, and here’s where things get fuzzy, at some point in the evening I joined the party and we all ended up naked in the kiddie pool at Lynnhurst or was it Pershing Park. Again it’s a little fuzzy. Apparently it’s not okay for adults to hang out naked in a kiddie pool at 2 in the morning. Who knew? There are all sorts of laws that we don’t know about people! Someone in the neighborhood called the police — NARC! — and we were all taken downtown to sober up and call a friend. I remember one thing rather clearly, when I demanded to be told what I was being arrested for (again who knew about this law) some policeman told me that I was being arrested for “indecent exposure.” At that point I grabbed my ample bosom as apparently Exhibit 1 and 2 and yelled “you call these indecent.”

Fortunately no record was kept, there were no video cameras at the time, and no YouTube. I eventually sobered up and have become a productive member of society – well I’ve sobered up. What do you want from me people???? And someday I’ll tell you why the disabled vets at Sister Kinney used to call me “Good Time Mary.” But that’s for another day.

1 thought on “Once Upon A Time (and a dozen or so vodka gimlets ago)

  1. The good thing about being a square-head during all my younger days is that I still get to look forward to my wild days. I just hope I live them before Alzh. hits.

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