Remedial Flossing

I’ve decided my picture looks a lot better with natural light rather than when I have to turn on my lamps. I do, however, desperately need a haircut. I’m thinking a mohawk or a mullet.

I would try to get in today for a haircut but I have an appointment to get my teeth clean and I just can’t cancel it AGAIN. I hate having my teeth cleaned – I do like how nice it feels after it’s done but there is something about having someone clean your teeth that gives me the creeps. When the hygienist is working on them I feel as if I disappear and there is just a set of teeth in the room. And I know, no matter what, I’m going to get the flossing lecture. I think a person could floss 10 times a day and still every dental hygienist in the world would tell you it’s not good enough. I believe their entire vocation is based on the concept that no one can truly floss like a professional can floss. Then comes the moment when the dentist comes in and checks my tongue and under my tongue. Apparently this is to check for mouth cancer but I feel like a horse up for auction. I also flashback to elementary school and when Mrs. Barnes would check our mouth for chewing gum — and don’t bother hiding it under your tongue because she would check there too. Mrs. Barnes was fearless.

Well I better go floss and brush again. I’m just hoping for a passing grade so I don’t have to go to remedial dentistry.