What Am I Thankful For?

Television or I never would have met my boyfriend Jack Bauer
Hang gliding because it reminds me there are people out there stupider than me
A wonderful puppy who loves me no matter what
Not living in Alaska
Keebler elves and all their fine cooking
Spelling oar elz wii woodent haf werds
Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Iowa is not in Minnesota
Viagra for all the jokes it has and will supply
Insecurities for all the jokes it has and will supply
Numbers or how else would I call anyone
Good, great, grand friends and family

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday. I’ll see you all at Kohl’s at 3 a.m.